|1||Arian Foster||RB||HOU||Not a member of the Aryan Nation|
|2||LeSean McCoy||RB||PHI||Despises the Hatfields|
|3||Ray Rice||RB||BAL||Tall, slim version of MJD|
|4||Calvin Johnson||WR||DET||Possibly not human; risk of disqualification|
|5||Aaron Rodgers||QB||GB||State Farm ads not his finest hour|
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