This article is part of our Rebound & Rant series.
TV analysts love to praise savvy moves made by general managers of the teams they are watching. Everybody is a genius. Well, I have a face for radio, which makes me crabby. And praise is rarely amusing. So I'm taking the snarky route and spending the next few moments to criticize many of this past summer's offseason moves. Join me, fellow curmudgeons, on a path of petty put downs.
Dallas Mavericks
I know, I know, poor Mark Cuban. DeAndre Jordan breaks his heart and leaves him at the altar. What's a guy to do? And, honestly, he's to be commended for trying to squeeze everything he can out of Dirk Nowitzki's last few years. But is Dirk really that good anymore? Maybe Mark Cuban should have followed Danny Ainge's example and dealt his aging talent for future assets. This team will not compete in the West, even with a healthy Chandler Parsons.
I'll tell you what you don't do: you don't sign aging stars. You don't spend money to do worse in the lottery. Are Deron Williams and Zaza Pachulia really keeping the season-ticket holders happy? Why does Raymond Felton still have a job? Charlie FREAKIN' Villanueva!?! Seriously, this roster makes me throw-up in my mouth a little. I'm no billboard designer, but how about posting this outside of the American Airlines Center:
Speaking of the Mavericks-Jordan dating disaster, kudos to the folks at LA's Staples Center for putting Cuban and Steve Ballmer together on the kiss-cam
TV analysts love to praise savvy moves made by general managers of the teams they are watching. Everybody is a genius. Well, I have a face for radio, which makes me crabby. And praise is rarely amusing. So I'm taking the snarky route and spending the next few moments to criticize many of this past summer's offseason moves. Join me, fellow curmudgeons, on a path of petty put downs.
Dallas Mavericks
I know, I know, poor Mark Cuban. DeAndre Jordan breaks his heart and leaves him at the altar. What's a guy to do? And, honestly, he's to be commended for trying to squeeze everything he can out of Dirk Nowitzki's last few years. But is Dirk really that good anymore? Maybe Mark Cuban should have followed Danny Ainge's example and dealt his aging talent for future assets. This team will not compete in the West, even with a healthy Chandler Parsons.
I'll tell you what you don't do: you don't sign aging stars. You don't spend money to do worse in the lottery. Are Deron Williams and Zaza Pachulia really keeping the season-ticket holders happy? Why does Raymond Felton still have a job? Charlie FREAKIN' Villanueva!?! Seriously, this roster makes me throw-up in my mouth a little. I'm no billboard designer, but how about posting this outside of the American Airlines Center:
Speaking of the Mavericks-Jordan dating disaster, kudos to the folks at LA's Staples Center for putting Cuban and Steve Ballmer together on the kiss-cam during the Clips-Mavs game. Seriously:
Steve Ballmer and Mark Cuban on kiss cam pic.twitter.com/3KtFlQ2mH7
— J.A. Adande (@jadande) October 30, 2015Not to be outdone, the Mavs responded: roughly a week after kiss-cam, the Mavs showed this Cleo Dog Productions video 30 minutes before their home game versus the Clippers. It's worth the seven minutes:
That is rich. Well done, everyone.
Greg Monroe
I realize that Greg Monroe, through four games, is killing it. He's averaging 20.3 points, 9.5 rebounds and 1.3 blocks per game while shooting 62 percent from the field. But the Bucks are 1-3 despite all that production and they already had a starting-worthy center in John Henson. This team needs outside shooting. Michael Carter-Williams is a career 40 percent shooter. Giannis Antetokounmpo shot 16 percent from three last year and Jabari Parker will never be a stretch four, per his rookie season shot chart:
Henson clearly has potential, as the Bucks demonstrated by recently signing him with starters' money (four years for $44 million). Khris Middleton is the only shooter on this team. The Bucks need one more and many options would have been cheaper than Monroe's three-year, $50 million contract.
Old Men
I love Kevin Garnett's return to Minnesota. But, boy, they really went overboard bringing in "cagey" veterans. Really, Tayshaun Prince? At 35 years old, Prince can't possibly have much left in the tank. I think I could run a quicker suicide drill. And if Prince isn't old enough, they also grabbed 39-year-old Andre Miller. I'm not making this up! I'd love to see Prince and Miller star in an AARP ad.
What bugs me the most is the T-Wolves insist on starting Prince. And what does Minnesota get from Prince's 21 minutes per game? How about two points, two rebounds and zero threes. Every minute Prince plays is a minute wrongfully taken away from Shabazz Muhammad or Zach LaVine, two youngsters with big upside. I'm assuming this situation will solve itself over the winter, but short term this is driving me crazy.
Thaddeus Young and Andrea Bargnani
I really, really, really want to make fun of the Nets for signing Bargnani and bringing back Young but they didn't have a choice because they don't own any of their first round picks over the next three years. Why tank if you have no draft picks? Boston gets their 2016 first-round pick. In 2017, Boston can swap their first-round pick with Brooklyn. And in 2018, Boston once again gets the Nets' pick outright (no swap). (Thank you, Real GM).
Still, can you imagine being a Nets fan, forced to watch Young plod through another 14-point, five-rebound, 0.5-block per game season? Or how about having to witness Bargnani limp through maybe 45 games while refusing to play defense? Stick to those fancy Brooklyn restaurants, Nets fans, 'cause you are looking at a four-year nightmare of mediocrity.
Wow, OK, that is some really grouchy analysis by yours truly. If I've bummed you out too much, do what I do and play Nils Lofgren's Bullets Fever (championship version) to perk yourself back up. This was made after the Bullets beat the Sonics for the 1978 championship. Enjoy:
