Frozen Fantasy: Goons are a Dying Breed

The Edmonton Oilers got their man early July 1, 2016. That's when they inked the bruising, the emotional, the downright mean Milan Lucic for $6 million a season.

For seven long, painful years.

The power forward is dead. Looch is the last man who will ever wear the mantle of protector. And he might be the last true power forward in the NHL.

So, when will fantasy leagues catch up?

So many fantasy leagues – especially Yahoo ones – count PIM in rankings and scoring. I just don't think they should anymore.

Gone are the days of 55-point, 80-100 PIM forwards. Shane Doan is 40. Scott Hartnell is 34. Brad Marchand is a tick on skates.

And Justin Abdelkader just doesn't count.

Sure, Matthew Tkachuk will eventually score a lot, but he's more like a Ryan Getzlaf than a meathead on skates. Lawson Crouse could come close, but I'm still not convinced he's a top-six guy.

Today's power forwards are powerful and intense, not mean and emotional. They must be big and fast, and deliver in multiple categories.

But PIM just isn't one of them.

How many seasons before Looch outlives his welcome in Edmonton? He just got moved off the top line.

Hmmmm …

Now let's look at who caught my eye this week.

Mike Condon, G, Ottawa (20 percent Yahoo owned) - Condon's ownership jumped 19 percent this week and little wonder – he's now the Sens' starting goalie. Condon delivered a shutout Thursday and will get plenty of action while Craig Anderson is away from the team (Godspeed, BTW). Condon is better than his experience in Montreal, so I'm sticking him in my roster.

Michael Frolik, RW/C, Calgary (7 percent) - Frolik has skated into my line of sight every year for the last six, maybe seven seasons. But it's almost always in the second half. Not this time. Frolik heads into action Saturday on a four-game, five-point streak (two goals, three assists) and he's plus-5 in that span. He's the right mentor for Matthew Tkachuk – Frolik is teaching him the 200-foot game and springing the youngster in the offensive zone. The points are coming and so might a career mark. Frolik has never bettered his rookie season of 21 goals and 45 points. Until now.

Sam Gagner, RW/C, Columbus (1 percent) - Two weeks ago, Gagner was at risk of losing his roster spot. Coach John Tortorella, ever the orator, held court to tell reporters, "If I can't use Sam in an offensive position, it's hard for me to keep him in the lineup." Gagner took that to heart. He sat out the Oct. 21 tilt against Chicago, and now, he's riding a three-game, four point streak (three goals, one assist) heading into the weekend. He has five points in his last five. Gagner is not likely to match his 47 points of 2011-12, but he can score. And his ice time is up to 16-17 minutes. He'll deliver.

Patrick Maroon, LW, Edmonton (3 percent) - Milan Lucic's loss Friday was Maroon's gain, as the former Duck has moved up to flank Connor McDavid on the top line. Maroon has shown chemistry with McDavid before – he delivered eight goals and 14 points in 16 games last season while cleaning up rebounds for number 97. Get him now and take advantage for however many games Maroon gets on line one. You won't be sorry, at least short term.

Anders Nilsson, G, Buffalo (1 percent) - Nilsson pitched a shutout last Sunday night against the Floridian kitties and reinforced why he might usurp Robin Lehner as the top dog in the land of fires. Nilsson's .937 save percentage is outstanding, but there's no sign (yet) that he's about to seize the twine tent. But I'm watching him just in case.

Colton Sceviour, RW/C, Florida (13 percent) - Sceviour's ownership jumped 12 percent Friday when fantasy owners realized his move to the second line has stuck. Sceviour has three goals and two assists in his last three games as wingman alongside Vincent Trocheck and Reilly Smith. He's never scored more than 26 points in any season; right now, he's on pace to shatter that total. Shatter.

Dennis Seidenberg, D, NY Islanders (7 percent) - This former 30-plus point defender is on a roll – he was on a three-game, four-point scoring streak heading into action Saturday. And Seidenberg has six points, including four goals, in his last seven games. Lightning, meet bottle. Now, go take advantage, at least for the short term.

Matthew Tkachuk, LW, Calgary (9 percent) - Tkachuk was recently told to find an apartment in Calgary – that means the kid has stuck with the Flames. And little wonder with his six points (three goals, three assists) in his last seven games. There are a few scouts who have quietly whispered they think Tkachuk will be the best player of the 2016 NHL Entry Draft in five years time. That's heady praise considering the draft included Auston Matthews, Patrick Laine and Jesse Puljujarvi. Tkachuk is learning the game from Michael Frolik and that's going to serve him well now and in the future. He may be a short-term grab, but there's decent value here. And dynasty owners might be able to get him in a deal ahead of those other three guys … just in case that whispering proves to be right.

Alexander Wennberg, C, Columbus (12 percent) - Go get this guy. NOW. Wennberg is remarkably talented and his big, four-assist night Friday against the Habs is part of a three-game, seven-assist scoring streak. He's on the cusp of something delicious this season. I own him in a couple leagues and will be scooping him up whenever he's available.

Back to Looch.

Heading into Saturday's games, the big, bad Oilers were alone in first place in the Pacific. Their offseason efforts to get bigger and more aggressive seem to be paying off.

Bigger is fine. But mean and nasty is so 1970s.

Bad clothes, bad hair, bad music. Thank goodness they're out.

Just like the 1970s fantasy goon categories. Or at least, they should be.

Until next week.