So Richie Sexson took issue with some high heat from Kason Gabbard on Thursday and hilarity ensued. No, not the brawl itself (though Sexson chucking his helmet at Gabbard wasn't bad for laughs), but the reaction of each team's announcers. Both sides were equally as indignant that the other team was at fault. It was quite comical really.
On the Mariners' side, Dave Sims and Mike Blowers were certain that Texas catcher Gerald Laird called for Gabbard to throw at Sexson. Gabbard was plunked earlier by Felix Hernandez, who also nailed Ian Kinsler after Kinsler homered in his previous at-bat. Kinsler made it known he was none too pleased, and in that context Sims-Blowers were convinced Gabbard's buzzcut had to be retaliation. Replays showed Gabbard shake off Laird twice before throwing, though Laird never changed his pitch signals, which seemed to suggest an inside pitch.
One problem, though. The pitch wasn't inside. It was high all right, but merely in the vicinity of Sexson's head. Sexson didn't see it that way, rushed the mound immediately and threw his hemlet at Gabbard. That got the dander way up of Texas broadcasters Josh Lewin and Tom Grieve. Grieve had some good ones. "I've seen some gutless things on the field, but that was in the Top 3." His best line, though, came in calling for Sexson to be suspended for not only rushing the mound, but for "throwing a helmet at him like a girl." That is classic. Grieve later apologized for slighting all girls everywhere.
I don't know, I just got a good chuckle out of four pairs of eyes seeing the same events in such stark contrast. Texas manager Ron Washington had the best line, though. Wondering why the giraffe-like Sexson would need to throw his helmet at all, Washington asked, "How tall is he, 6-13?"