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The Nightcap! (Stupid, Dictionary-Lengthed Edition)

 If I have to type "Bloomquist" one more time, I'm gonna kick my own self in the face.

Notables

Max Scherzer recorded 7 K, only 2 BB, and a 59|PERCENT| groundball rate (10 of 17 balls in play) against the Mariners today. Also, he blasted a whole bunch of 96 mph fastballs by Russell Branyan.

• My dumb friend has Jonathon Niese in this one fantasy league we're both in. My dumb friend probably didn't even know that Niese was gonna get 8 K against 0 BB in 7.0 IP tonight. My friend is so dumb.

• Someone of a very similar build – and with almost an idential face – to Ross Ohlendorf pitched for the Pirates tonight. I know it wasn't Ohlendorf, though, because this guy was nasty: 7.0 IP, 8 K, 1 BB, 0 ER. More on this story as it develops.

• His ERA (2.10) is certainly luck-driven, but Jaime Garcia rolled again tonight: 7.0 IP, 7 K, 2 BB, and 63 ground balls. Hmm. On second thought, that last number looks kinda big.

Mat Latos is sweet as candy: 8.0, 7 K, 0 BB tonight. In 105 pitches or something.

Caution, Warning

Jose Lopez looks hungry at the plate. Hungry for a cheeseburger, I mean. (Although, I should note: he DID draw a walk for the third consecutive game.)

• Despite his poor start tonight (6.0 IP, 4 K, 4 BB in 30 BF), you probably don't have to worry about Tim Lincecum. You probably DO have to worry about everyone freaking over it.

Stolen Bases

Juan Pierre (30), Alexis Rios (22), Andrew McCutchen (20), Angel Pagan (15), Chris Young (14), Chris Coghlan (9), Derek Jeter (9), Ian Kinsler (8), Torii Hunter (7), Kelly Johnson (7), Fred Lewis (6), Willie Bloomquist (5), Mark Reynolds (5), Martin Prado (4), Wilson Valdez (3), Garret Anderson (2), Kevin Frandsen (2), DeWayne Wise (2), Jonny Gomes (2), Nick Swisher (1).

Caught Stealing

Nyjer Morgan (12), Elvis Andrus (10), Justin Upton (5), Adam Jones (4), Corey Hart (3), Brandon Inge (2), Mark Reynolds (2), Yorvit Torrealba (1).

Save Chances

Francisco Rodriguez, converted (19). He gave up 2 H in 0.1 IP, but you're not gonna hear his owners complaining. K-Rod actually has a 11.38 K/9 at the moment – his best mark since 2007. I hadn't known that till like 30 seconds ago.

Octavio Dotel, converted (18). Question: is he the eighth child in his family, or is it just a clever name?

Andrew Bailey, converted (16). Entering today: 1.69 ERA, 4.15 xFIP. Hmmm.

Jonathan Papelbon, converted (19). K: 2. IP: 1.0

Billy Wagner, blown. He gave up a game-tying homer to Gaby Sanchez in the ninth.

Leo Nunez, blown. In the same game as Wagner, actually. Except, in Nunez' case, he came in with his team up 3-2 in the bottom of the 11th. First, he walked Brian McCann. Then Troy Glaus doubled. Then Omar Infante singled. Ballgame.

Huston Street, converted (2).

Brian Fuentes, blown. With the Angels up 1-0 in the ninth, Mike Aviles doubled off Fuentes to drive in Willie Bloomquist.

Joakim Soria, converted (21). Whaddaya expect?!?

Heath Bell, converted (22). Just another day in the Penitentiary.

Closer, Non-Save

Kevin Gregg finished off the Jays' 6-1, 11-inning victory over the Yankers with an uneventful inning.

• THE Mariano Rivera pitched the 9th inning in the same game as Gregg did. He got a couple ground outs and also a K.

Jon Rauch, converted (18). He got two quick outs, then the Rays almost scored, but then the Rays didn't score.

Non-Closer Outing

• Washington's Joel Peralta looked surprisingly impressive in three innings of relief work against the Mets, getting 8 whiffs on 38 pitches. That's actually kinda amazing.

Matt Thornton got a save tonight – his fourth. Bobby Jenks was supposedly reinstated from the bereavement list today, so it's not immediately clear why Thornton took this one.

Lineup-ology

Jarrett Hoffpauir has been the Jays' primary third baseman since Edwin Encarnacion was DFA'd a week ago or whatever. Through 24 AB coming into today, he was slashing .167/.231/.208. Just, FYI.

Tyler Colvin batted leadoff today – for the fourth time all season, but also the second day in a row.

Miguel Cabrera was scratched from Friday's lineup with tightness in his lower back. The heavy-hitting Donald Kelly replaced him. (Note: part of this entry was sarcastic.)

Josh Willingham batted fifth for the 73rd time this season. Fifth. Josh Willingham also had the third-highest OBP entering play tonight. Argh!

Ruben Tejada played short for the New York Nationals as Jose Reyes sat out his third consecutive game with an oblique injury.

Andy LaRoche made his fourth start this season at second base.

Shane Victorino was 1 of 17 Phillies not to play this evening. The difference is that Victorino's day off was just for rest.

Jayson Nix started at second base for the Indians today, as he's been doing for the last week or so. He was 2-for-3. With the turnover that Cleveland's had in its infield, ANY player who steps up could play his way into time pretty quickly.

• After injuries to both Victor Martinez and Jason Varitek, Kevin Cash is now the No. 1 catcher in Boston.

Eric Patterson, Bill Hall, Darnell McDonald: these people also start for the Red Sox currently.

Gregor Blanco has been the primary beneficiary of Jason Heyward's injury. Today, starting in center, he went 2-for-3. He hits a little, runs a little. Maybe check him out.

Todd Helton got the night off to rest his sore back. Jason Giambi's moustache replaced him.

• Tampa catcher Kelly Schoppach started against a righty today, which indicates he's not in a strict platoon with John Jaso.

Tony Abreu played short today in lieu of Stephen Drew, who's been dealing with knee problems of late.

The Young and Potentially Restless

• In his third-ever major league appearance, Brian Schlitter of the Chicago Cubs conceded 5 ER in 0.1 IP, walking 3 batters and a allowing 2 H. On the plus side, his last name sounds like a cuss word.

• Baltimore prospect Josh Bell played in his second-ever major league game tonight, going 1-for-4 as the team's DH.