The Vampire (Football) Diaries: The End Is Near

With barely an hour to the Sunday kickoffs, we’re going stream of consciousness style with this edition of The Vampire (Football) Diaries. Considering my Count Chocula squad has taken over the league and built and unstoppable starting lineup, it seems pretty fitting to go this route. After all, there’s not much to say about strategy or player thoughts or anything around trying to win a league as a Vampire.

I’ve already won.

And I get that it sounds cocky, but to me, I’ve beaten the game, so to speak. A bad break or two in the playoffs could mean I don’t actually win a title, but for all intents and purposes, I’ve done what is so hard to do in a Vampire format – I’ve gone from the worst to the best roster. I say I may lose in the playoffs because there are still two really strong teams out there, but I can say with certainty that after winning five of my first nine games, no one has a better roster than I do. My team is so loaded that I beat a stacked, 7-1 first-place roster last week 171.75 – 170.75 with an elite RB (Saquon Barkley) on bye. And now I’m well on my way to winning a sixth game and claiming Matt Ryan, Leonard Fournette or JuJu Smith-Schuster to ride my bench. Seriously, my starters are so good I am adding bench players at this point.

Let’s take a look at Week 11:

Count Chocula – 62.9

QB – Ben Roethlisberger
RB – James Conner
RB – Alvin Kamara
WR – Davante Adams
WR – Tyler Boyd
TE – George Kittle
Flex – Saquon Barkley
Flex – Ezekiel Elliott
K – Wil Lutz
DEF – New York Jets


Jared Goff
Mitchell Trubisky
Tarik Cohen
Austin Ekeler
DeAndre Hopkins
D.J. Moore

Villain – 17.8

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QB – Matt Ryan
RB – Leonard Fournette
RB – Jordan Howard
WR – JuJu Smith-Schuster
WR – Cooper Kupp
TE – Trey Burton
Flex – Duke Johnson
Flex – Jalen Richard
K – Mason Crosby
DEF – Chicago

Now I just sit back and wait to make starting decisions in the playoffs, when I’m unable to steal players and keep getting stronger. With two two-loss teams it’s looking like I won’t get a playoff bye, so I’ll need a three-game clean sweep to take a title. Next year, I’m already thinking about putting the top four in the playoffs instead of the top six. It’s only a 10-team league and my logic may have been a bit flawed when I decided to make it six teams in the playoffs instead of four. In the three Vampire leagues I’ve started, Count Chocula is the best at 5-4, but the other two Vampires are 3-6 with pretty clear paths to finishing 6-7 or 7-6, in which case they’d sneak into the playoffs and be as strong or stronger than any team there. At the time of the decision I was thinking more about how to give Vampire teams a fighting chance, without considering how much they’d bring to the fight with a chance. It’s too easy for wins to snowball and Vampires to become league overlords.

So that’s what’s on my mind now. There’s seven more weeks to the fantasy season but all I think about for these Vampire leagues is what can I tweak to improve the format – walking that tightrope with the Vampire team of keeping it the best challenge in fantasy football while also not making it impossible.

I may form league Competition Committees to pitch ideas and have them voted on. Being a keeper format, I may institute compensatory picks for teams that the Vampire preys on the year before. There are many ways to go, but one thing is clear, changes will be needed.

And speaking of changes, I now have to go check all the other non-Vampire lineups of mine that get semi-neglected.

Happy Sunday!

If you want to learn more about a Vampire league or just want thoughts on roster management, follow me and Tweet at me @Hoover_L_A.