Rebound & Rant: Super 70's Edition
Rebound & Rant: Super 70's Edition

This article is part of our Rebound & Rant series.

It's a long fantasy season, brothers and sisters; sometimes you gotta stop and laugh. You don't need me to tell you to pick up Tobias Harris and E'Twaun Moore, do you? No, you don't. But I can add some nice late-season levity.

How often at home have you gone for a sit on your porcelain throne, and then 25 minutes later realize your legs are numb because you couldn't stop reading Twitter sports updates? Well, more times than not, my fallen-asleep-legs are due to @Super70sSports, the absolutely hilarious and proudly inappropriate ode to 1970s sports feed run by Chicago-based sociology professor Ricky Cobb. The 44-year-old Cobb has the wit of Richard Pryor, the delivery of a two-drinks-in Pat Summerall and the sports knowledge of a crusty Bob Ryan. No twitter feed uses the term "badassery" better than @Super70sSports. Clearly Sports Illustrated agrees, as they honored @Super70sSports in their 2015 Top Social 100.

I caught up with Professor Cobb for a not particularly serious look at 70's ABA/NBA basketball and how it might relate to today's fantasy sports world.

What would be your ultimate fantasy basketball team from the 1970's?

Ricky Cobb of @Super70sSports: Oh, man, that's a good one. Well, I'd have to go with Tiny Archibald at the point. Dude led the NBA in scoring AND assists in 1972-73 (34.0 points and 11.4 assists per game). You can live with those numbers. Gotta take my man Pete Maravich at the two. Pistol was good for 30-5-5 at his peak plus he was just so damn fun to watch. The center has to be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He did it all including block a ton of shots. BTW, is this a league with bonus points for co-piloting an airplane? At forward, of course I've got to have Dr. J on the squad and I'll take young Bob McAdoo to hang up 30 and 14 every night. You won't have much fun playing me.


What would famous 70's ballers think of fantasy basketball? Daily fantasy basketball?

@Super70sSports: It was such a different world then in terms of salary. Especially for the ABA guys, who sometimes weren't sure if their paychecks would bounce or not. I think most of the cats balling at that time would've welcomed any ideas that generated greater interest and revenue. Heck, it's easy to forget that the NBA Finals were shown on tape delay when Magic and Larry came along.

Why the hell doesn't anyone use the fingeroll anymore??

@Super70sSports: It's a lost art. The first guy that brings that skill back to the league is going to immediately become my favorite player. In the meantime, if you need a fix, at least we've got old George Gervin highlights.


After Wilt, which 70's NBA stars had the most lady friends?

@Super70sSports If it wasn't Julius Erving, the Doctor missed out on one hell of an opportunity. But I'll ride with Walt "Clyde" Frazier, who was the coolest dude on the east coast while Wilt was dominating out West. Rick Barry grew a pornstache once, but nobody was buying it.


Which current NBA stars would do well in the 70's?

@Super70sSports: LeBron James would've been awesome with an afro and sideburns, so he's my top pick. Boogie Cousins is another guy who was made for the 70's. Rajon Rondo. Kevin Durant. Stephen Curry, but it has to be in the ABA with him, because taking away his three ball would be criminal.

Which current NBA uniforms are the worst and should be replaced with the franchises' 70's version?

@Super70sSports: Great question. First in line is the Nets. Time to go back to the classic red, white, and blue from the glory days of the ABA. Then I'm putting both the Bucks (green and red) and Clippers (light blue) back in their late 70's attire. Also, if you'll give me one from the 80's, the Nuggets need to break out the rainbow cityscape look again. Lastly, the Supersonics belong back in the league wearing the same uniforms they won the NBA title in back in 1979.


Were short-shorts good or bad for the game?

@Super70sSports: I always admired John Stockton's stubborn refusal to wear shorts that could contain his nuts even well into the 90's. As a kid who grew up in a world where we all somehow thought it was appropriate to dress like Richard Simmons, I have grown to appreciate longer shorts. But you can't beat the short shorts for comedy.


How quickly would Wes Unseld foul out in today's game? How quickly would Unseld break DeAndre Jordan, forcing Jordan to cry like a six-year-old girl? BTW, Unseld's outlet passes were a thing of beauty.

@Super70sSports: My favorite thing about Wes Unseld is how exhausted he looks in almost every photo. He'd be gassed like six minutes into the game but he somehow still played 40 minutes a night. He wouldn't foul out often in today's game, but he might just not play defense at all. He was the cagey old guy at the YMCA who realized it was usually easier to not guard you and simply let you throw bricks, then rebound. As for DeAndre, Wes would have him crying like he stole his lunch money before the first TV timeout.

A big THANK YOU to Ricky Cobb, who by the way also has a podcast coming out soon. Please give him a follow at @Super70sSports.

That's it for me and Ricky, ballers – ADIOS AMIGOS!!!


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ken
An early RotoWire contributor from the 90's, K-Train returns with the grace of Gheorghe Muresan and the wisdom of Joe Gibbs. Tweet @KenCrites or e-mail at ken@rotowire.com. Ken won the FSWA 2014 Humor Article Of The Year award. He's also the 2016 Champion of the prestigious RW NBA Keeper League and the 2019 Champion of the RW NFL Ottonue Keeper League. Ken still owns a RotoNews shirt.
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