We're only one week into the FPL season, and already the knee-jerk reactions are flying. Yup, that's what happens after just 90 minutes of football. Whether it be Sunderland smashing West Ham 3–0 despite only having 35% possession and posting a mere 0.6 xG, or the "world champs" Chelsea slogging through a 0–0 draw with Crystal Palace, people are ready to change everything. Without fail, every early-season performance feels like it has earth-shattering importance.
But here's the truth: it doesn't. One game doesn't define a season or a fantasy squad. The smartest move right now? Take a breath, crack a beer, and relax. Transfers will come, points will come, but panicking in Week 2 rarely pays off.
So with that in mind, we're serving up this week's Back Three as a Beer Edition. Because sometimes, the best way to make sense of FPL is the same way you make sense of life: through a beer.
The Pizza Pickup Beer: Getting the Timing Right
The well-timed pizza pickup beer is one of life's simple pleasures. The pizza place says 45 minutes, but you "accidentally" show up 15–20 minutes early. Maybe you told your wife they said 30 minutes. Maybe you claimed you had to swing by the hardware store. Either way, you've engineered just enough time to slide onto a barstool, order a pint, and still get home with the pizza hot.
When you nail the timing, there's nothing better: the beer is cold, the pizza's ready, and you pat yourself on the back. However, if you get it wrong, it can backfire. Too early, and you're two pints deep before the pizza even hits the oven, and suddenly the night takes a turn. Too late, and they are pouring your beer right as you hear your name yelled…that relaxed feeling is gone, and everyone at home wonders why the pizza isn't hot (trust me, if you don't time this right, it can impact your being allowed to make future pizza pick-ups…timing is everything).
And that's exactly how it works in FPL.
Too Early: Milos Kerkez
At £6.0M, Kerkez was a tempting new Liverpool signing, but this is simply too early. He's still adjusting to the system, Andy Robertson is still hanging around, and he's nowhere close to nailed on for 90 minutes or any attacking returns. As much as I love the Reds and think Kerkez will be fine, he is not gonna help your FPL team anytime soon and isn't a good choice. Just like having to order that third Fiddlehead IPA while you wait…seemed good at the time, but…
You are Too Late: Alexander Isak
At the other end of the spectrum is Alexander Isak. He costs £10.5M, and everyone has known that with the nonstop transfer rumors and the fact that he isn't even training with a team, there was no way he would be playing these early weeks. Why are 6.1% of FPL owners still wasting that kind of money? Yes, last year he was a must-have, and hopefully, in a month or two, Isak is scoring goals for fun with Liverpool. But right now, if you still have him, you are too late…your pizza's ready to go and the beer is just being poured - bad timing!
Just Right: Richarlison & Chris Wood
And then there's the sweet spot, the pizza has just gone in the oven and your Guinness is put down in front of you. Time to split the G and enjoy that perfectly timed beverage. In the FPL world, it could be the right time to add either Richarlison or Chris Wood. Both bagged braces on opening weekend, and both have four good fixtures in the next five. Richarlison fired off five shots inside the box against Burnley and looks sharp in Thomas Frank's new setup. Wood, meanwhile, just keeps doing what he always does, proving he's a legitimate Premier League goal scorer. These could be the equivalent of the perfectly timed pint and might just propel you these next few weeks.
The Airport Beer: Context Matters
There is nothing more magical than the airport beer. Heading on vacation with your partner or friends, it hits different. 7 a.m. or 7 p.m., lager or IPA, it doesn't matter. It represents possibility, freedom, and the sense that something special is about to begin. However, it is essential to remember, the beer itself isn't magical; it's the context that makes it unforgettable.
And that brings us to Daniel Ballard.
The Sunderland defender dropped 17 points in Gameweek 1, and for the three FPL owners (out of millions) who triple captained him, it was the fantasy haul of a lifetime. At £4.5M and with Burnley and Brentford up next, he's now the fifth-most transferred-in player. But step back: Sunderland are brand new to the league. In 85 games in the Championship over the last three years, Ballard has six goals, two assists… and 21 yellow cards. After Brentford, the fixtures turn brutal — Palace, Villa, Forest, United, Chelsea, Arsenal.
So is it really worth burning a transfer to chase him for two weeks? No. Ballard is the airport beer. It felt brilliant in the moment, but that doesn't mean you need to load your fridge with Stella when you get home. Context made it great, not the beer itself.
The Garage Mini Fridge Beer: The Budget Enablers
Every neighborhood has one (or way more than one): the garage mini fridge. It's not where you keep your Mill River 3x IPA (Crawl it a Night) or Hill Farmstead collection. No, this is the fridge for the driveway drop-ins. A neighbor walking the dog. Another neighbor driving by in their compact SUV. Or a different neighbor showingup because you're mowing the lawn and look thirsty. No matter what the reason, before you know it, three or four have gathered and you feel obliged to ask, "want a beer?"
That's when the garage fridge shines. It's stocked with those right-side-of-the-cooler beers. You know the ones, a High Life, a Bud Light, perhaps even some PBRs. They won't win many awards, but they're dependable, easy to pass around, and they won't break your budget.
Well, you need these same garage beers on your FPL team. You can't afford premium players at every position and you need the right cheap option to fill out the roster and make the perfect team. In FPL, that's your £4.0–£5.0M crew, and here are some really solid garage beer players:
- Martin Dubravka (Burnley, £4.0M) isn't the keeper you want to rely on every week, but as a backup, he's more than serviceable. When the party spills into the driveway and you just need something cold, he's there.
- Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall (Everton, £5.0M) looks set for real minutes under David Moyes. Everton are tipped to climb, and KDH could be the sneaky midfield enabler that keeps your squad balanced. He is a decent beer to hand a neighbor when the cooler's getting low.
- Carlos Baleba (Brighton, £5.0M) is another excellent choice. He looks locked into Brighton's midfield, adds defensive contributions, and quietly racks up points. Not flashy, but you'll be glad he's sitting there when the neighbors arrive.
Remember, these aren't your star buys; they're the fridge fillers. The players who keep the rest of your squad (and the neighborhood) running smoothly.
So whether it's timing your pizza pickup, chasing an airport pint, or stocking the garage fridge, the lesson is the same: context, timing, and balance matter more than one gameweek. Transfer wisely. Drink wisely.
